How To Catch The Fishies.
Welcome back to the Audacious Aspie! This week, we will continue looking at how to thrive and survive in the dating scene as an Autistic/Asperger person. Last week we left off with the fun tid-bit on the proliferation of Autism in New Jersey, this week we will continue with the new story. What more does Dr. Love say on dating and Autism?
Love requires patience, just like getting these two pages to bend just right without falling over or losing the shape. Lots, and lots of patience.
Be who you are. That is a common lesson for everyone who starts on the path of romance, Autistic/Aspergers or not. However, because we all know, either consciously or not, of the negative assumptions and beliefs that often follows when mentioning Autism/Aspergers, perhaps especially on the subject of romance, we tend to want to act like we are not on the spectrum. When most people think of Autistic people dating, we think of struggles, ex: the spouse may not accept the Autistic person, in part or in whole. The spouse might be abusive either emotionally or otherwise towards the Autistic person, or may lead them astray, to name a few.
Since we have literally (until very recently with media like Autism In Love and the like) no Autistic/Asperger role models on how to behave when dating, I believe we fall back on the image and anxieties we know: act like your not on the spectrum, than you will seem more appealing. As Dr. Love puts it “Sometimes when you like someone, you want to change things for them, including changing who you are so they will like you better. This is exhausting, and unfair both to you and them. Be who you are, because nobody else can that” (Paragraph 11).
Her other point of wisdom? Dont love too deeply. Thats is, don’t rush it. Dr. Love started to date a man she had met online, than moved across the U.S.A because she believed it was true love. If fairy Godmothers existed, this was the perfect time for one to step in. But since one did not,, she made a couple if unpleasant discoveries. Prince Charming was not so much charming, but cruel. He had a mean streak, and a girlfriend. But it seems that they were made for each other, as his other girlfriend sent demeaning messages to Dr. Love.
Walt Disney lied to us, lied to us all! No one told me that Cinderella was not a historical documentary! I’m going to complain to my dragon about this.
We will continue this topic next week, and perhaps the next couple of weeks as it is a long article, but we will reach the end...one day. But it does not hurt to visit the topic again and again, as there is no one way mr or ms. Right (poor mr. and ms. Left, no one ever looks for them), so it does not hurt to gather as much information as we can. Knowing, is only half the battle, followed by a great first impression and dress to impress, in that order. Until than, this continues to be, the Audacious Aspie.
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