The Audacious Aspie’s First Audition!

In this blog, we will go through the various experiences of a university student on spectrum, from my perspective. From the men to the women, gay to the straight, trans, Aboriginal, international, home grown, reaching across the left and right political spectrum and everything in between. How do I know all these perspectives? I don't. Others do however, and I will be interviewing them to fill in the holes of the student spectrum experience.

“That’s a lot of views”, you might say. “Do I really need to see so many?” It's important. Much like there is more than one narrative concerning a person’s experience as a student, there is more than one narrative for students on the autism spectrum.

But I digress. I suppose it is fitting to start with the author. To be honest, I was not supposed to be in university, or college, or even high school. Not according to the doctors anyways. Know where I was supposed to go? A group home.

I was supposed to just sit and stare at the wall. That, said the doctors, was to be my fate. Fortunately, my parents said no, much to the dislike of the doctors. Though the doctors still had hopes that my parents would see things their way, my parents had other ideas.

I was not supposed to talk, claimed the doctors, one of which came from CHEO, a pediacterian specialist (though obviously not a specialist on the autism spectrum). When I was speaking in public for the first time in the small,Osgoode township school I attended from kindergarten to grade 6. My parents called the doctor when I did a presentation. Filled to the brim with joy. He still had a feeling that he was right. After that my family and I gave up on him, before I graduated to high school. We rarely mentioned him again.

To be fair, all the testing that was done was in 1996, where putting kids like me in an institution was more common than these days. Perhaps he was a product of his time.  

And, well, the rest is history. But now to the main question: just what is it like to be a student on the spectrum? Here, are my experiences. Keep in mind that these are just mine, followed by experiences of others.

First day of university? Well, I suppose it's like almost everyone else's: bewildered, scared and excited, plus in awe of how big the campus looked! I also thought that college would have prepared me for this! But I was wrong -- I guess nothing can prepare you when becoming part of a sprawling, diverse institution, where buildings seem to be scattered all over the place, miles apart! (Hey, in my defence, I'm also high-anxiety. Prone to over-blowing concerns on a grand scale.)

After a couple of days adjusting to the sheer size of the campus (and getting over the fact that there is more than one way to get lost there((I pity those who travel the tunnels at night!)), I realized something else: do you know the crime the university is most known, but is not often caught for?

Daylight robbery! Between the textbooks and tuition fees, or more correctly tuition fee. Per class. Per semester. it’s a wonder we have any money left. And that's not including rent when living on campus, school supplies, and the little-soon-to-be-big things like buying food from various food courts however rare, coffee, tea, than the daily bread among other things. Spare change?

The workload, however, is not much different from that of college work: same old, crushing amount of schoolwork, as per the norm. Only difference is, you need to think. And think, and think. In college they asked me write down an idea, than throw up whatever else was taught, and be on your way. Here? In university? You gotta up chuck what you learned, than mush it around until it perfectly matches the line between your own opinion and what the professor wants to see. Not enough? You got bowls don’t ya? Use ‘em. Embellish, make it look lovely, a kaleidoscope of puke green. Hope your not a germaphobe. But there is an extra exam we on the spectrum have to take, an exam that is not taught in any class here in the university, one we need to learn ourselves, with the help of friends and family. Difference is, it lasts our whole lives. I call it the socializing exam, and man is it tough. By our vary nature, those of us on the spectrum are shy and interpersonal, depending on how severe we are. Small talk itself is a challenge for us, certainly for me.

Now, that does not mean we cannot make friends, I myself have a few. The key is to join clubs that interest us, be it politics, sports, games, it does not matter. The sooner we choose a club (more the merrier), and participate in the clubs, the sooner we will make friends. The reason? The same as everyone else, a joint interest in the subject and, this very important in our case, regularly meeting the same group of people over and over again. Eventually we will break out of our shell, and interact more and more with others, forming bonds and exchanging contacts. Its different for everyone, some may be more open than others, but it works all the same. Familiarity is key. Having friends, and making friends, is good for us because, well, same reason it's good for you.

Mental health, you know, the two words that is now repeated ad nauseam, like from a doctor who discovered the cure for eternal life? It benefits us as much as it benefits those not on the spectrum, living happier and much, much longer lives! It also chases away the feeling of loneliness, smothering at times. Apart from making mates, we also find people that are like us, which, when you've been carrying around the feeling that you are the only one for a while, feels like a wave of relief. Which brings us to the other, albeit tougher subject, love. Dating in other words.

I looked at a site that contained useful tips on how to get a date if your on the spectrum. I've seen exams that are easier to accomplish. Impossible? Certainly not, because again, familiarity is key. I certainly don't know much on the subject, being single myself, but I do remember one of the rules on the post, a rule that I find to be helpful. When choosing a place for a date, make it an active date. A bowling alley, per se, or a board game place where you can play board games together, dance club or something else. If you're like me, and talking is not your strong suit, then pick a spot where talking is secondary at best, but enjoying a favorite activity together is the primary goal.

Before I give the spotlight to someone else, I want to stress (my favorite pastime, it seems) the importance of the many supports that exist and why you should use them. You’ve probably already heard this tired line many times before, but they are right. The supports are their for you to use, and you should take advantage of them, as often as you can. Even if you’re not on the spectrum, you should look to see what supports are there for you, they will make university life a lot easier, assuming that's a thing.     

But enough about me, let's hear from you! If you have an experience you want people to know, helping others who have suffered or are suffering the same to know they are not alone (or, like me, your sadistic and love to spread the pain of truth around. Misery loves company), feel free to contact me, and we can work out a time to interview you, in whatever way makes you comfortable (or uncomfortable, you little monster you. No resemblance to GaGa fans).