The Audacious Aspie Revisits the Market
Welcome back to the Audacious Aspie! This is the first part of our travels back through time, back when things were...still...things. Not a lot of note happened between this post and the one we are re-visiting, the 7th post. Yes, we are going back to look at (gasp!) THE DATING SCENE!!! (hollywood scream). I thought we would go for the hardest first, then work our way from there. It is advised to keep the number of your psychiatrist close, and the phone number of your therapy group closer.
In fact, it would be a good idea to keep both your psychiatrist and group therapy phone numbers close as, with this blog, you never know when you’ll need them.
Last time we looked at this topic, we stopped at the road map for autism bit (followed by the venture in Barney's last known hideout). Today we will continue down that road, starting with a piece from the guardian (their lowercase, not mine. Maybe they have self esteem issues, since other companies do their names like The Guardian, or Facebook?) whose subject is “Dating with autism: ‘You have to find someone who understands’,” (their title). What’s it about? It starts off following a man who is, what else, looking for love. But there is one component that I’m sure many of us are familiar with: he, has aspergers.
I’m not going to rehash what being an aspie and in the dating world does to someone (I’ve at least done that thrice over), the regular dating places like bars or restaurants can be noisy, hectic and all that, it’s all been said (though I will point that one thing he says “I would definitely like to find the right person and now I feel more confident that I will”, his words. The key word there being confident, confidence, like in anything you do, autistic or not, is key). No, instead we will be looking into other issues concerning autism and dating: understanding.
What do I, or the article, mean by understanding? Besides the obvious, your date would need to understand why you do the things you do like stimming or habitually avoiding eye contact (looking at the person's forehead is a big help with that, they won't notice and a big turn on if you’re into fore-head fetishes). But also the reasons why you choose places not normally associated with dating (places of activity): They may not understand our sensitivity to sound or being around seemingly thousands of people (oh god, my anxiety is kicking in again). Does not mean they are bad people, just means you will have to explain to them.
You know, talking, the one thing you specifically chose that bowling alley for not that reason? To communicate only when needed? Maybe you should have stayed with the restaurant.
But that in itself is a problem, as the interviewee stated, describing it like a rock and a hard place: telling them right then and there might scare them off (especially if they recently watched a horror movie, you know how mental health is portrayed there). Wait to long? They think you are hiding something (like being a killer, or a humiliating fact, or a humiliated killer that lives with your parents in a weird family-wide death-cult. A family that kills together, chills together). What should you do about this? If I knew, I’d be the richest man alive, though the site suggests sending them links to teach them about autism. Just another facet of the legally-stalking world of online dating.
Will, that ends this post for now. And we managed to avoid the dancing dinosaur! Quit the achievement, wouldn’t you say? And this closes the chapter of this horror topic (maybe), a perfect way to get you into the scary mood (evil cackle). Remember: if you're ever brave enough to walk the streets at night, remember these two rules: check for drugs in your candy (either for recreational use or protect children, or both if you're of legal age), and double tap. Always double tap. Until next time, this continues to be, the Audacious Aspie.
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